A good summer day in sunny London

Today I'm blogging from a coffeeshop in Crouch End. The sun is shining outside and it's hot. I'm wearing summer clothes and my new orange gladiator sandals. I'm happy. This makes me happy.

I'm gonna go pick some photos soon that I wanted printed out. Then I'm gonna walk back up to Muswell Hill and take some photos on the way. Maybe I'll blog some more in the park.

I wish we had a balcony at home on days like these.

Change of heart gets you nowhere

Instead of doing, I think.
Then I change my mind.
Then I have to start all over again.
Just a bit later when I can stress even more about it.

I will never go forward if I'm gonna continue thinking about everything all the time.
Sometimes I should just DO.


This time I changed my mind about studies. To give up 3 years of my precious life on something I don't even enjoy, just seems like such a stupid idea.
I want to have kids young (at least I think I do), but at the same time I want a career more than anything. I want to finally be able to do something I actually love doing.


I don't know anything, and it really bothers me.

And this whole thing makes me really depressed. I haven't been out of the house all weekend. I've got no motivation to go anywhere. London bores me.
Or maybe it's my life that does?

Don't want to be here

Okey, we're back. But I'm actually not happy about it. Would much rather have stayed in NY... We said before we left, that maybe we should just not go to the airport? Imagine, then we would have been illegal immigrants in America! But what a place to be illegal in..... haha

We do want to move over there now. America is such a funny place. Noone takes things too serious which can be so nice. At least for a while.

It was seriously such a great trip. I could almost say it was the best trip I've ver done! Can't think of another as good as this one now anyway. Maybe the cartrip to Romania a few years ago...

Manhattan was incredible. The wedding was jewish and the coolest ever. It's going to be hard to beat. hmmm... how am I gonna to get married before I know I can make it better that that?!

NYC

Tomorrow we are going to hide in here!!

New York City, here we come!

See you in 7 days.

The spider

I wake up in the morning, and I'm grumpy.
My head hurts.... I need water. I need my eyes to get used to being open.
Then D sends me a text: "There's a spider in our house. And it's huge. I saw it this morning. Thought I would let you know."

Okidoki man.

I phone him up: "Why did you have to tell me that?!" and "Why didn't you kill it?!"
He didn't want to wake me up, he says.... How considerate of you!! Really.

I walk over to the kitchen, and all of the sudden I get a feeling of happiness. A smile on my face.
- coffee
ooooohhhh yyyeessss baby, coffee. You make me happy.

Take me home

I'm feeling a little down today...

Maybe not a good idea to start the day with a phonefight.

I'm having one of those days when I just want to go home and hide behind the curtains. Be sad and be left alone.

Last day of the week. It's good, but not good enough.

Going away next week. But not far enough.

fotochopped

My new sunnies for this year!

What'ya think? They're turquoise which I've never even liked! Don't think I got the colour quite right on the photo though.... And I didn't know how to make the blue curtain in the background grey, haha! New to Photoshop. They got it for free online, did you know? www.photoshop.com/express

Enjoying time alone at the moment. He should be home soon though. It's good! I can have the whole cake for myself that I bought in the bakery on my way home!!
Listening to Gabrielle, perfect women-feel-good-music!
Totally feeling this woman-thing today - new clothes, cakes, pyjama, music....!! Great stuff.

The batteries for my iPod died this morning.... I feel gutted. My darling iPod who helps me through the tough times on the tube! He's dead. Completely out.....

Swedish bloggers

At work. Got so much to do - I've read hundreds of blogs! Found some good ones, but most of it's crap. So much time wasted on writing those crappy ones.......shame. Specially this one (it's in Swedish) - www.blondinbella.se - wow, what a waste. Can't understand how she can make millions on her blog and how she has so many readers. All she ever says is:

"Today I went to the cafe with Camilla and this is how my lunch looked!

[photo of lunch]

Tonight we are gonna have dinner at Stures, Blondinbella AB is paying! I don't have time to write anymore right now, but this is how I look at this moment!

[photo of her doing The Pose]"

crapcrapcrapcrapcrap

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Now, if You wanna read my Swedish blog, it's to be found here: http://shellys.webblogg.se

Cancerbacon

On the front pages of Metro this morning, it said that if you eat bacon, sausages, or any processed meats, you stand a 20% higher risk of getting cancer.

So don't eat meat.

Seriously though, it seems most things gives you cancer these days... I think - everything in moderation, and as organic as possible, and we should all be fine!
I'm sertainly not scared of getting cancer from things I consume. I think it's stupid to be. I also think a human's mind is a lot more powerful than what we are aware of......if you know what I mean...........


I have little to do at work today, so I'm helping the guys pulling some tables apart. But again, as with the electrical gadgets, they run up to take over! Cos I'm just a girl, what do I know....?

Boatrace

Yesterday was the boatrace between Oxford and Cambridge universities down by the river in Putney. I went down to meet D and couple others for some beers before it started. It was sunny when I arrived and then it turned ugly just like that.... Rain and wind and it was freezing! Don't know why so many people were there.

But we had some Carlsberg's to warm up and D borrowed me his hat so my hair wouldn't get wet, such a gentleman!

And then I got my package already from asos.com! 2 days it took, that's fast! Looks great, I'm happy.

Go online

Fuck.
I'm hooked on online shopping.
It's so easy!!

The dress

I chose this one! For the wedding in, less than, two weeks. I'm happy. And an awesome pink scarf too! Should arrive early next week.

And I really just can't wait to go!! And what do I look forward to the most? Well, it's gonna be my first wedding, so obviously that, but the American shopping makes my toes tingle....!

Great day in the city today! Sun was out, and it was fairly warm for a change. Just too bad I don't get to be out more...

Electrical me

Why is it that when I'm busy putting something electrical together, a man always runs up and wants to take over?

I am fully capable! I grew up in a house full of boys hugely into computers and such!

Wasting money, wasting life

The weather is on the telly right now and they just showed us the weather. We're getting snow again! But what's the point in having snow when it doesn't stay on the ground for even a second. But rather snow that rain I suppose.

And see - as soon as I start working, my creative mind just switches off... Is it worth it? Not really. I can't continue "waisting" my time on something I know is not for me.
So today I've found out even more about writing courses! I can't seem to find any good short courses in journalism, only creative writing. But that's more fiction writing; scripts, novels and poetry. But it's always good to build on your CV right? At least it's in the industry.

I wanna go to the hairdresser... Fuck, I can't even remember when I went last! I do it myself.... don't laugh. It works - my hair is long enough for me to pull it in front of my face and see exactly where it needs to be cut!
God I've been careful with my money lately! Too careful... I should spend money on me, I'm a girl. But I'm getting my taxreturns with my paycheck this Friday, maybe I should use it for some shopping then.

Us son's of bitches

Why does it seem we are so slow at opening our eyes here in the West sometimes?
We believe everything the Media tells us and we swollow all of it. Is it just me who take it in with a pinch of salt? Or are most people? But if most people do, then why aren't we making a difference? Or at least trying to. We should stand up for humanity, not just say we do.
And we shouldn't need the Media to tell us what to think, we should use our common sence. If we have some left other than not to mix pink and red when we get dressed.

I am pretty sure most people who watched the movie "Blood Diamond" was thinking "oh, what a shame for those poor people...", and maybe even shed some tears, but when proposal-time is coming up, a diamond is still the only option. How disappointed won't the poor girl get if there's no diamond??

We all need to stop thinking "me alone" won't make a difference. WE ACTUALLY CAN. And even if it's not a big difference, but only a drop in the sea....... "the ocean is made out of drops"

Jesus Christ, take a stand a make a difference!

Life comes when you're open to it

I've noticed..... that now when I'm finally finding the way back to the creative me, I get more attention from people again. Not just any people, but also wierdos. Like the old man sitting down next to me outside the library earlier today.

I remember that when I first moved to London 3 years ago (?), I used to walk around the city. I lived in Westminster then so I could walk everywhere.

I went to a park one sunny day and a man came up and said he could see my aura. It jumped up and down, probably because I listened to music, he said. We spent the whole day together and he tought me how to see other people's auras, and he could tell me things about me and my friends and my family that only I would know. I never saw him again after that.

Another time I was sitting outside the National Gallery smoking a cigarette when a young man approached me. He took me to a celebrity restaurant where we had margharita and then I came with him to buy a hat. I never saw him again either, although he invited me over to a couple of partys at Chinawhites.

I like this sort of attention, even though it is not attention from "normal" people. They are probably very odd, or maybe even perverts, but I don't care.

- It makes life interresting when you're open to things.

Freezing at the library

brrrrrrrrr..........
I'm sitting outside the library, freezing my ass off in the wind! I had to come here to get the better internet connection... It's closed over the weekend, but if you sit outside on the steps you can still log onto their network. And I need the quick connection today because I had to download and upload a sertain file for my boyfriend who's at work and can't do it. Things you do for love......

There's an old man sitting next to me (don't know why), it's running from his nose... He seems a bit crazy but he doesn't make me feel uncomfotable and he gives me nice cookies.

Am I any good?

Maybe it will fade again after a while, but right now; I love blogging! Don't know why, I don't think many people read it, but I just love writing! And so much is always going on in my head and it's nice to get it out and on to a paper. I've tried writing in a regular Word document but it's just not the same...
I'm leaning more towards studying writing now, instead of teaching. Creative writing och maybe journalism. Or maybe I should start writing a novel!! Or maybe not.
But then, always this awful question - would I be good enough? I have to think I would. I want (need) to do something creative as a living and so I simply have to believe I'd be good at whatever it's gonna be.
So there. Writing then. Where do I start............?

I've been there too

Yesterday was Guinness Day - St Patricks Day! So we took a walk to the irish pub down the road, O'Niels, and had a couple of Guinness'. I don't even like Guinness. But if you pour a little blackcurrant cordial into it, it goes down a bit easier...
And god I was tipsy after just one pint, how sad am I?? Cheap date. And my boyfriend drinks like a sponge and finished 3 by the time I had only finished my first....

On the news here yesterday they talked about the Norwiegan girl who was murdered and hidden in the trash in someone's basement. I don't know why, but it hit me harder than other bad news and I was really sad about it... Maybe it freaks me out a bit because I've been there so many times myself - going home with strangers for an after party in a private flat. Looking back I've been incredibly foolish too many times... I've been so naive. That's what Scandinavian girls are abroad - naive.
Thank god I have someone who looks after me now and doesn't let me do those idiotic things anymore.

No good

I just couldn't get myself to blog yesterday... I barely spent any time on the internet! Not like me. Instead i spent the whole day being depressed. I wish I could say why... Maybe it was the fact that D used up all the hot water for the morning shower, or that he made my towel wet, or that he felt distant... Or maybe i just woke up on the wrong side.

Anyway! We went out and bought new towels, DVD's and groceries, and even squeezed in a coffee and massive chocolate cake! yumyum....
But I didn't feel right all day. Lightheaded still. Dunno why but today I'm calling the doctor.
Now I'm back at work for another long week. But Friday is a bank holiday and so is next Monday, so a long weekend is on the cards! jippiee