Other things

Right, I'm so goddamn bad at updating this page. But I've got another blog too:

http://www.finest.se/userPresentation/?uid=29499

But it's in Swedish. I keep that one updated everyday though...


Otherwise I can tell you we are moving to Canada, hopefully early next year!
And a group to look out for is Justice, and a song to listen to is De Nuit's tune All That Mattered.

Speak soon.

Footie!

It's time for me and the cat to watch some football!

SWEDEN - SPAIN

Okey, I can admit I'm a little nervous... I like to see Sweden win, but we haven't been playing like winners for years and years. It's been quite mediocre to be honest.

But keep me on my toes!!

"Burn down Camden!"

I don't want them too, but they clearly did as it actually did burn down. Half of it anyway. So now they are very conveniently building it back up the way they want it - new, clean, and more commersial.

What a pity. It was so cool.

"Coke, ecstasy, weed" was heard by dodgy folks on every corner, and wicked punks was hogging the bridge by the Lock. You don't find them anymore, the police have been on them.

They're cleaning up Camden - they're cleaning up the charm!

The cool people will have to find another, untouched place to hang out at, and leave Camden with the ignorant tourists.

Taramasalata

mmmm...... Have you ever tried this godness? Taramasalata. The Greek dip.
When I was single and lived by myself, all you'd ever find in my fridge would be this and some bread to dip with!
And it's PINK!
Great stuff.




____________________________________________

I'm right now waiting for this video to finish uploading on YouTube... It's a clip from Australia's Got Talent, our good friend Johnny is performing. He's a beatboxer and amazing. Apparantly, from what I've heard, he's Kylie Minogues favourite on the show (she's one of the judges)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9DD4XcxzF0

Canada

I want to move here. To Canada. Tell me you've seen a prettier place ever! It's the actual colour of the water too!

I'm actually quite serious about it, I'm gonna look into visas. I've been looking at pictures of Vancouver, I think it would be the best place to go, close to California too.

So, see you there?

I want...

...to take a train trip through Europe.

...to have more money.

...to live in a bigger flat.

...to buy a new closet.


I also want to go see the Sex and the City movie. But I'd rather get the whole boxset and watch the tv series for the twentieth time...

dontfeedhumans

suck my tungue

Rolling Stones

Yeah baby!

California dreamin'

fuck it

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

I hate when this happens. I hate it when my head acts out like a girl.
Why can't everything just work?

fuck.

Why must humans always complicate things?

fuck.

fuck.

A good summer day in sunny London

Today I'm blogging from a coffeeshop in Crouch End. The sun is shining outside and it's hot. I'm wearing summer clothes and my new orange gladiator sandals. I'm happy. This makes me happy.

I'm gonna go pick some photos soon that I wanted printed out. Then I'm gonna walk back up to Muswell Hill and take some photos on the way. Maybe I'll blog some more in the park.

I wish we had a balcony at home on days like these.

Change of heart gets you nowhere

Instead of doing, I think.
Then I change my mind.
Then I have to start all over again.
Just a bit later when I can stress even more about it.

I will never go forward if I'm gonna continue thinking about everything all the time.
Sometimes I should just DO.


This time I changed my mind about studies. To give up 3 years of my precious life on something I don't even enjoy, just seems like such a stupid idea.
I want to have kids young (at least I think I do), but at the same time I want a career more than anything. I want to finally be able to do something I actually love doing.


I don't know anything, and it really bothers me.

And this whole thing makes me really depressed. I haven't been out of the house all weekend. I've got no motivation to go anywhere. London bores me.
Or maybe it's my life that does?

Don't want to be here

Okey, we're back. But I'm actually not happy about it. Would much rather have stayed in NY... We said before we left, that maybe we should just not go to the airport? Imagine, then we would have been illegal immigrants in America! But what a place to be illegal in..... haha

We do want to move over there now. America is such a funny place. Noone takes things too serious which can be so nice. At least for a while.

It was seriously such a great trip. I could almost say it was the best trip I've ver done! Can't think of another as good as this one now anyway. Maybe the cartrip to Romania a few years ago...

Manhattan was incredible. The wedding was jewish and the coolest ever. It's going to be hard to beat. hmmm... how am I gonna to get married before I know I can make it better that that?!

NYC

Tomorrow we are going to hide in here!!

New York City, here we come!

See you in 7 days.

The spider

I wake up in the morning, and I'm grumpy.
My head hurts.... I need water. I need my eyes to get used to being open.
Then D sends me a text: "There's a spider in our house. And it's huge. I saw it this morning. Thought I would let you know."

Okidoki man.

I phone him up: "Why did you have to tell me that?!" and "Why didn't you kill it?!"
He didn't want to wake me up, he says.... How considerate of you!! Really.

I walk over to the kitchen, and all of the sudden I get a feeling of happiness. A smile on my face.
- coffee
ooooohhhh yyyeessss baby, coffee. You make me happy.

Take me home

I'm feeling a little down today...

Maybe not a good idea to start the day with a phonefight.

I'm having one of those days when I just want to go home and hide behind the curtains. Be sad and be left alone.

Last day of the week. It's good, but not good enough.

Going away next week. But not far enough.

fotochopped

My new sunnies for this year!

What'ya think? They're turquoise which I've never even liked! Don't think I got the colour quite right on the photo though.... And I didn't know how to make the blue curtain in the background grey, haha! New to Photoshop. They got it for free online, did you know? www.photoshop.com/express

Enjoying time alone at the moment. He should be home soon though. It's good! I can have the whole cake for myself that I bought in the bakery on my way home!!
Listening to Gabrielle, perfect women-feel-good-music!
Totally feeling this woman-thing today - new clothes, cakes, pyjama, music....!! Great stuff.

The batteries for my iPod died this morning.... I feel gutted. My darling iPod who helps me through the tough times on the tube! He's dead. Completely out.....

Swedish bloggers

At work. Got so much to do - I've read hundreds of blogs! Found some good ones, but most of it's crap. So much time wasted on writing those crappy ones.......shame. Specially this one (it's in Swedish) - www.blondinbella.se - wow, what a waste. Can't understand how she can make millions on her blog and how she has so many readers. All she ever says is:

"Today I went to the cafe with Camilla and this is how my lunch looked!

[photo of lunch]

Tonight we are gonna have dinner at Stures, Blondinbella AB is paying! I don't have time to write anymore right now, but this is how I look at this moment!

[photo of her doing The Pose]"

crapcrapcrapcrapcrap

---------------------------------------------

Now, if You wanna read my Swedish blog, it's to be found here: http://shellys.webblogg.se

Cancerbacon

On the front pages of Metro this morning, it said that if you eat bacon, sausages, or any processed meats, you stand a 20% higher risk of getting cancer.

So don't eat meat.

Seriously though, it seems most things gives you cancer these days... I think - everything in moderation, and as organic as possible, and we should all be fine!
I'm sertainly not scared of getting cancer from things I consume. I think it's stupid to be. I also think a human's mind is a lot more powerful than what we are aware of......if you know what I mean...........


I have little to do at work today, so I'm helping the guys pulling some tables apart. But again, as with the electrical gadgets, they run up to take over! Cos I'm just a girl, what do I know....?

Boatrace

Yesterday was the boatrace between Oxford and Cambridge universities down by the river in Putney. I went down to meet D and couple others for some beers before it started. It was sunny when I arrived and then it turned ugly just like that.... Rain and wind and it was freezing! Don't know why so many people were there.

But we had some Carlsberg's to warm up and D borrowed me his hat so my hair wouldn't get wet, such a gentleman!

And then I got my package already from asos.com! 2 days it took, that's fast! Looks great, I'm happy.

Go online

Fuck.
I'm hooked on online shopping.
It's so easy!!

The dress

I chose this one! For the wedding in, less than, two weeks. I'm happy. And an awesome pink scarf too! Should arrive early next week.

And I really just can't wait to go!! And what do I look forward to the most? Well, it's gonna be my first wedding, so obviously that, but the American shopping makes my toes tingle....!

Great day in the city today! Sun was out, and it was fairly warm for a change. Just too bad I don't get to be out more...

Electrical me

Why is it that when I'm busy putting something electrical together, a man always runs up and wants to take over?

I am fully capable! I grew up in a house full of boys hugely into computers and such!

Wasting money, wasting life

The weather is on the telly right now and they just showed us the weather. We're getting snow again! But what's the point in having snow when it doesn't stay on the ground for even a second. But rather snow that rain I suppose.

And see - as soon as I start working, my creative mind just switches off... Is it worth it? Not really. I can't continue "waisting" my time on something I know is not for me.
So today I've found out even more about writing courses! I can't seem to find any good short courses in journalism, only creative writing. But that's more fiction writing; scripts, novels and poetry. But it's always good to build on your CV right? At least it's in the industry.

I wanna go to the hairdresser... Fuck, I can't even remember when I went last! I do it myself.... don't laugh. It works - my hair is long enough for me to pull it in front of my face and see exactly where it needs to be cut!
God I've been careful with my money lately! Too careful... I should spend money on me, I'm a girl. But I'm getting my taxreturns with my paycheck this Friday, maybe I should use it for some shopping then.

Us son's of bitches

Why does it seem we are so slow at opening our eyes here in the West sometimes?
We believe everything the Media tells us and we swollow all of it. Is it just me who take it in with a pinch of salt? Or are most people? But if most people do, then why aren't we making a difference? Or at least trying to. We should stand up for humanity, not just say we do.
And we shouldn't need the Media to tell us what to think, we should use our common sence. If we have some left other than not to mix pink and red when we get dressed.

I am pretty sure most people who watched the movie "Blood Diamond" was thinking "oh, what a shame for those poor people...", and maybe even shed some tears, but when proposal-time is coming up, a diamond is still the only option. How disappointed won't the poor girl get if there's no diamond??

We all need to stop thinking "me alone" won't make a difference. WE ACTUALLY CAN. And even if it's not a big difference, but only a drop in the sea....... "the ocean is made out of drops"

Jesus Christ, take a stand a make a difference!

Life comes when you're open to it

I've noticed..... that now when I'm finally finding the way back to the creative me, I get more attention from people again. Not just any people, but also wierdos. Like the old man sitting down next to me outside the library earlier today.

I remember that when I first moved to London 3 years ago (?), I used to walk around the city. I lived in Westminster then so I could walk everywhere.

I went to a park one sunny day and a man came up and said he could see my aura. It jumped up and down, probably because I listened to music, he said. We spent the whole day together and he tought me how to see other people's auras, and he could tell me things about me and my friends and my family that only I would know. I never saw him again after that.

Another time I was sitting outside the National Gallery smoking a cigarette when a young man approached me. He took me to a celebrity restaurant where we had margharita and then I came with him to buy a hat. I never saw him again either, although he invited me over to a couple of partys at Chinawhites.

I like this sort of attention, even though it is not attention from "normal" people. They are probably very odd, or maybe even perverts, but I don't care.

- It makes life interresting when you're open to things.

Freezing at the library

brrrrrrrrr..........
I'm sitting outside the library, freezing my ass off in the wind! I had to come here to get the better internet connection... It's closed over the weekend, but if you sit outside on the steps you can still log onto their network. And I need the quick connection today because I had to download and upload a sertain file for my boyfriend who's at work and can't do it. Things you do for love......

There's an old man sitting next to me (don't know why), it's running from his nose... He seems a bit crazy but he doesn't make me feel uncomfotable and he gives me nice cookies.

Am I any good?

Maybe it will fade again after a while, but right now; I love blogging! Don't know why, I don't think many people read it, but I just love writing! And so much is always going on in my head and it's nice to get it out and on to a paper. I've tried writing in a regular Word document but it's just not the same...
I'm leaning more towards studying writing now, instead of teaching. Creative writing och maybe journalism. Or maybe I should start writing a novel!! Or maybe not.
But then, always this awful question - would I be good enough? I have to think I would. I want (need) to do something creative as a living and so I simply have to believe I'd be good at whatever it's gonna be.
So there. Writing then. Where do I start............?

I've been there too

Yesterday was Guinness Day - St Patricks Day! So we took a walk to the irish pub down the road, O'Niels, and had a couple of Guinness'. I don't even like Guinness. But if you pour a little blackcurrant cordial into it, it goes down a bit easier...
And god I was tipsy after just one pint, how sad am I?? Cheap date. And my boyfriend drinks like a sponge and finished 3 by the time I had only finished my first....

On the news here yesterday they talked about the Norwiegan girl who was murdered and hidden in the trash in someone's basement. I don't know why, but it hit me harder than other bad news and I was really sad about it... Maybe it freaks me out a bit because I've been there so many times myself - going home with strangers for an after party in a private flat. Looking back I've been incredibly foolish too many times... I've been so naive. That's what Scandinavian girls are abroad - naive.
Thank god I have someone who looks after me now and doesn't let me do those idiotic things anymore.

No good

I just couldn't get myself to blog yesterday... I barely spent any time on the internet! Not like me. Instead i spent the whole day being depressed. I wish I could say why... Maybe it was the fact that D used up all the hot water for the morning shower, or that he made my towel wet, or that he felt distant... Or maybe i just woke up on the wrong side.

Anyway! We went out and bought new towels, DVD's and groceries, and even squeezed in a coffee and massive chocolate cake! yumyum....
But I didn't feel right all day. Lightheaded still. Dunno why but today I'm calling the doctor.
Now I'm back at work for another long week. But Friday is a bank holiday and so is next Monday, so a long weekend is on the cards! jippiee

My head is my enemy

It's coming on again....... These panic attacks...... I can feel it creeping up, slowly......
Go away!!
I don't know where they come from, but they leave me feeling empty and at the same time full of things I don't need to have in me.
It feels like the world closes in around me and I can't breathe. I start taking very short breaths, but then it's not enough. I start taking deep breaths, but then it's too much.....
Sit still Michelle!!
Go away....

The ring question - European style, or American style?

Today I'm blogging from my favourite coffee shop! The patisserie I mentioned before. But today I'm alone so I brought my laptop as company. Got a great seat right at the little table right by the window. So I can see everything but still feel secluded. I feel cool like a 'freelancer'!
Dan is working all day today and might not be home until after 8 or 9 tonight so I gotta entertain myself. Don't like it when he works on the weekends, it's the only time we get to spend some real time with eachother! At least he's making a lot of money and he did say he bought me a pressie. To make up for it maybe...
(Grumpy girl next to me, stop staring at my computer!!)

I love this coffee place.... I wish I could live here.

Is it wierd that I look at people's ringfingers all the time.....? Am I jealous, or am I just curious? I want one too. I can admit that. We've talked about it, and he thinks I'm wierd when I say I'd say no if he proposed with a diamond ring. I just don't like diamonds, ok? I like the thick gold rings; simple, won't get stuck in my clothes, and always trendy. And I've also told him I won't wear my engagement ring if he doesn't wear one too. What? -I'm not the only one in the relationship to get engaged! He is too.

More like you...

This is England

Finally home, god what a long day! I thought I'd be fine to go back to work today but the whole day I struggled with keeping myself conscious! I've been so dizzy, I can't focus, and many times I thought I was gonna faint.
And to make things worse, I was a few minutes too late to get my normal seat on the tube back home, so I had to sit cramped in with other people.... I hate people sometimes... When I'm tired and travelling I wanna be left alone. And I was eating a bag of crisps and I just can't eat properly when there's people around, I feel like everyone's staring at me!! Was I chewing too loud.....? I know I'm a pig sometimes, deal with it.
Then on top of everything, in Harrow-on-the-Hill, this couple runs onto my carriage and sits down in front of me. I'm listening to my iPod, but I can still hear they are foreign, and because I had my feet on the seats when they arrived, they started staring at me wawing their hands. I'm too arrogant to acknowladge that sort of behaviour, so I just don't give them the time of day and kept on looking out the window. I think then they got a bit annoyed so they started to talk about me (you notice those sorts of things) and laugh out loud, and when they understood I could hear them through my music, they started talking louder and louder! It went so far I felt like I was being bullied or something!
Bloody Russians.... Don't they know that in England you're supposed to ignore eachother on the tube?!

Toilet-man, where are you?

Still waiting for the handy-man to come fix the toilet. Where the fuck IS he?? One would think it would be quite urgent to fix someone's toilet!! I had to go wee in the o'Niels pub on my way to Sainsbury's before.... Embarrasing.
And christ it's become expensive to buy food all of the sudden! £20 for some oats, meat, bread and chocolates! Why is it that all things that are good for you is too expensive for most people? Typical Britain, a country for the elite.

My back is really sore now... And I refuse to admit it's probably because I've been sitting slouched by the computer since 8 this morning! I wanna go lay down but I don't want to be in bed when (if!) the toilet-man shows up.

I'm a sad person today...

Home today again... Actually I don't find it that nice to be home, not when there's noone else here to spend the day with me! I tried to keep Dan in bed this morning, but it didn't work as planned... God I'm glad I have internet to entertain myself with now though! Gonna try to sort out my iPod, time for some new music. But am looking at the CD-pile I've created in front of me, and then I feel dizzy and wanna go to bed and hide from it all!

And my camera is being dificult.... gonna try and fix it...... there, fixed. Stupid, old little fuck.... Time for a new one I reckon.

Now I'm gonna keep feeling sorry for myself... And call the handy-man because our toilet is not working...

Baby's 26th

This is our Loveshack. So maybe not all that bad to have to spend the whole day here...? Cos I'm sick...... I hate being sick. And on baby's borthday?! Not cool.

But since it was my baby's birthday, I had to do something! We went to the patisserie, our new favourite, and had cake! Then we went to the cinema and saw 'No country for old men'. Not a very good film actually. I wanted to see 'The other Boelyn girl', but baby's choice today obviously.

Funrun

My boyfriend just shaped our wood-man like this and said: "This is how you look when you run!"

Meany. Although I do know I have a funny run.... Hilarious probably.

And my cat just winked at me! We have always said he likes me the most.

At work I've been playing a lot of a Nintendo DS-game, so now my wrist hurt and I constantly feel dizzy.... Can I claim compensation...?

I think I'm getting sick.

But I can't get sick right now when I have this gorgeous man sitting available next to me!! Gotta ravage.......

Old girls with young boyfriends

As we were leaving on the shuttle bus to work this morning, these two ladies came running. One with pink hair. They sat down right behind behind me and I could hear they didn't really know eachother all that well. But they started talking about men. Or boyfriends actually...

"So have you had many boyfriends?"

"Yes, I tend to go for the younger type."

"How young are we talking?"

"Well.... the last one was 32. But he was married, and that never goes that well. Another I liked, was 22. But he had a girlfriend.... And he didn't seem to take it all so serious. But I've never had any problems with men. Maybe because I've been married most the time."

"I understand they don't like tubby girls."

"But then again, some do...."

Don't be ashamed of porn, lady

They warned for gail-winds this morning, and god I was tempted to stay in bed...! They said maybe it's a good idea to stay inside, and I could hear the rain and the wind smashing on the window outside the kitchen.
But I'm at work now so obviously I went anyway.

There was a woman on the tube this morning reading a small book which she had covered in white paper... Must have been some sort of porn book. Why else would you hide the cover like that?

My own

We finally did it!
We got a laptop!

Our own computer. No more running to the library, or finding an internetcafe, or getting shit from my boss at work for checking my email too much......Now, instead, I can snuggle up in the couch in my pyjama and drink wine till I pass out!

We've come so far since Christmas come to think of it.
Then, we were living in a cold, damp room with weed-smoking house mates, and the terrible married couple who spoke no English but educated enough to tell us we needed to clean more.
Now, two months later, we own our own furniture, live in our own flat, a trip to Sweden, an upcoming trip to New York in April, real money in our bank accounts, a computer, cat...... What's next? Babies?

Keep it coming!

Went out last night for ome drinks. It was nice to be out in a group in a busy place for a a change! Yes, we have become one of those couples who rather stay in cuddeling up in the sofa, than go out with our friends.... Sad, I know.
When are we actually get over our honeymoon period...? Hopefully never. People are giving us compliments apparently on how cute we are together! Soppy...? Maybe, but who gives a damn.

And now I'm trying to soak up the 'me-time'. But the two days I get just isn't enough. I need Friday to become part of the weekend too!
Soon I'm gonna meet my man in the city, hopefully buy a laptop! Then I wanna go stuff my face in the gorgeous little pattiserie down the street!


.

I found something

I found something on a trip.
A man.
A gorgeous man at that. In all ways.
He's mine and I'm all his.
And even if it would happen that we won't be at eachother's side forever, he will always hold his special, warm place in my heart.

You make me a better person.



.

Hold me

So I find myself prying into other people's lives... Just because mine is boring me.
I lost myself somewhere along the way, everything I used to be and be about. I'm looking for it, it's staring at me, I can feel it.
Sometimes I come out, and I love it, and I hold it.
These people, they take me, but they don't have me.